GRAND RAPIDS CITY BUILDING
Loc: Downtown, Calder Plaza, Ottawa betwn. Michigan and Lyon

Located in the center of a wide expanse of concrete, the City building is a
tight little rectangle shooting straight up out of the ground. Small, flat,
and boring, all the things that make Grand Rapids great, are exemplified in
this building. It is a precise square, extruded seven stories up from the
featureless cement, with a facade of featureless brown-black glass. Its
companion is the city's famous sculpture by A. Calder, to which some
town leaders still have not stopped jerking off to since it was created.

The building's first floor is a rectangular peremeter around a core of two
elevators and door leading to a set of stairs. The floors above consist of
cramped city offices with too much paperwork piling up and too little space.
The building has suprising root underground, as well. Going down, for two
stories you pass underground parking garages, through which you can travel
east underneath Ottawa Ave., to the MBS/BankOne across the street, and a
block southward to Old Kent/Fifth Third Center on the corner of Ottawa and
Lyon, completely underground.

At the sub-basement level, there is a sign indicating an "Underground
Tornado Shelter". After going three more flights of stairs downward, you
come to the door of such.


SBS/AMERITECH/BELL TELEPHONE BUILDING
Loc: NE of Fountain and Division Sts.

This building stands as a testament to the Bell Telephone monopoly, and sits
and stagnates as a testament to 1980s trustbusting. Although an electric
"Ameritech" swoosh now adorns this building, it still bears markings of the
empire of Bell Telephone Company. The building now sits mostly empty, only a
small portion of the space being taken up by local technicians and staff. The
building is keycard locked, but the inside looks as a preserved 1940s or
50s-era big business building. The building has also been legendarily known
to be one of Michigan's haunted places.